a89bluefire | Recent Entries

So....I apparently have no will power when it comes to updating this on a semi-regular basis, so I’m just going to turn this into a writing profile instead. I’ll post all of my stories and poems on here (not I’ve been inspired poetically lately). Mostly it will be music fics, but the occasional book or movie might sneak in. My current obsession is KPop with some JRock thrown in. I prefer to read JRock to writing it though >.>

Current Mood: lazy
Current Music: Gazette - Guren

Well, my first semester at Weber finished and I have started on my second. It’s not even halfway through yet and I already want to jump off the roof of the Student Union building. Ok, slight over exaggeration, but with 18 units (full-time and a half) I am so stressed out it is starting to sound pretty good right about now.

I switched my minor from psychology to women’s studies. Love the classes so far, but am taking a class in my second semester that they recommend for your Junior year. I’m doing well though, so I am proud of myself. The only class I am worried about is English (My major, go figure.)

I am slowly getting used to this hell hole *cough* I mean, this wonderful state. It does not seem so frigid here to me, which makes me ecstatic, and I have made a lot of new friends. Actually, I have made more in the last year than in the last 10 combined. Still a hermit though, I have to be dragged out of my room and away from my books/computer kicking and screaming. Unless they want to go to the Korean restaurant up the street, it has delicious/cheap food and sexy waiters. Haha I’m a perv at heart, I know.

Get to come home for spring break in a few weeks, can’t wait! I will get to see everyone, sleep in, and eat junk food! It’s going to be awesome. ^.^

Current Mood: stressed
Current Music: bis - Days

Well, so much for using this to keep people updated on my adventures in Utah (yeah I know, What adventures?) But it’s almost time for me to come home and visit, can’t wait! I miss everyone so much and know I won’t want to leave again when I get back. But at least the semester is almost over and I have a 3.5 gpa so far for the semester, it might drop because of a final, but I will pass all of my classes and that is the main thing. But anyway, not much happening as usual. I DO need to finish my term paper for my Women’s Studies class though, and seen as how that’s my minor, I probably ought to actually do it. It’s a biographical essay on Hamasaki Ayumi, so at least it won’t be boring and dry. She’s awesome, I love her!

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Don't Want an Ending - Sam Tsui

It makes me so mad when people preach about how god loves and excepts everybody, how he would forgive me everything if I would just except him into my heart, how he treasures each and every one of his children; and then turn around and disown their own children because they’re gay, or they got an abortion, or they don’t think it’s right that women have to always listen to their husbands.

What if they like their own sex better? What if they just made a mistake and can’t have the child? What if they think that people are all equal, that just because you’re born black or white, male or female, or blond or fucking brunette that people are exactly the same? People can take their religion and shove it, I don’t give a crap. And I swear, if one more person tells me I need to turn to Jesus I’m going to take their cross and shove it down their damn throat!

I’m Agnostic! Leave me the hell alone! I have the right to believe whatever I want and not have people constantly telling me I’m going to hell because I’m a feminist, or I enjoy sex, or even – le gasp! Having it with my own gender. Sometimes I think most people would prefer I go out and start doing drugs, or become an alcoholic. It’s ridiculous, quit ridding my ass! And everyone wonders why I want to move so badly!

Current Mood: pissed off

I got this external drive so I could take my files with me to Utah, but it has this annoying program it uses and I’m not sure if the compound will let me use it because it has to download software onto the computer to work. I’d take it back, but it’s too late. I’d just buy another one, but it was $80 as it was and I’m broke because I can’t get a job because I have no idea when I’m leaving. Anyone know how to fix it so it’s just a glorified flash drive? That’s what I wanted, and that’s what they told me this was. I hate Wal-Mart workers, I have yet to find one that knows what they’re talking about. You think I’d learn to not listen to them and ask someone else, but the problem is there IS no one else x.x

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: The Best Thing - Relient K

So, It’s been forever since I updated, but I figured I better get back in the habit because I’m going to be using this site a lot more after I move to keep in contact with my old friends and find new ones. I’m moving to Utah, and know no one there at all, and can’t find anything interesting to do online. It’s more than a little depressing.

But I figure I can write in here and kinda keep a journal of everything that happens in the program I’m going into, so If anyone wants to know what’s going on they can just read it here instead of calling me and distracting me from whatever I’m doing. What do you all think?

Current Mood: numb
Current Music: Cocoon - Pierrot

I’ve finally got sucked back into reading fan fiction, I’m not sure rather to be happy I have something to do that dial up can handle, or annoyed that I sucked back in. x.x And to top it off it’s a Harry Potter fic, of all the crap out there I have to find this one amusing. For the record I used to be a huge HP fan back in high school, thought they were fun and amazing. Then my fave character got killed off and they turned dark. I was reading them to get away from dark crap, not get a fix of it. Egh….and then I got the run down on the rest of the series and not only did Sirius die like I knew, but so does Snape and Dumbledore. And Harry end up with Ginny, while Ron and Hermione end up together. All bullshit, pissed me off to no end~! Ron is an idiot, Hermione would NEVER get together with him. It was like the author read some really bad fan fiction and took notes. *Shakes head* The first three books were good, maybe the forth, but the rest are crap in my opinion.

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Shake It - Metro Station

Well, I have completed my first year of college. Not a whole lot has changed since high school though. I’ve met a few new friends, broken up with a boyfriend, went to some really interesting parties x.X But nothing that feels as though it’s life altering ya know? Surviving your first year of college is supposed to be this epic thing, this “You’re still alive~! You’ll make it now” accomplishment. But I feel like the same old me, even more confused than before if anything. I love college: Get to pick my own classes and schedules, more class options, interesting people, I get to work on campus…part of me misses high school though. I guess the security of having people around to catch you when you fall, to make sure you are getting all the right classes, your friends in your classes with you and at lunch. I’m lucky if I see my friends running to classes (while I’m doing the same) with nothing more than a breathless “Hi!” Most of the time we don’t even have time to slow down when we say it. College is more laid back than high school in many ways, but also more tightly wound in just as many, if not more.

Current Mood: confused
Current Music: Aqua - Roses are Red

Well, I have figured out that college officially sucks. I’m just starting my second semester at the local community college (Don’t dis them, they’re great for cheap GE) and my books are almost as much as tuition. That’s insane~!!! What happened to High School where you borrowed the books and then gave them back when the school year was out? No money out of pocket. *Sigh* I’m taking 17.25 credits and working one job, looking for another. This semester is going to be soooooo fun. At least I have friends at work to tease and more of them in some of my classes for the same reason! ^.^ And if it comes down to it I can drop a class or two, my family is all but telling me to. Which makes me want to keep them all the more. And no even my friends think I can handle working and that much school…<.<…>.>…Makes me just jump for joy at the vote of confidence, thanks guys. And again: Makes me want to keep them all the more. I will succeed this semester, for myself and also to prove them wrong! >.<

Current Mood: determined

Life would be so much easier if I didn’t care,
If I could just write things off with a dismissive flair.

I would be able to look at my photo album without crying,
Walk past the old haunts without deeply sighing.

There would be no heart-wrenching regret,
Over your opinions I would not fret.

If our song started playing I wouldn’t get sad,
I would look back on all the fun times we had.

The problem is that I do care about those things,
And I do remember the tear stained rings.

When ever that song plays I still cry,
It doesn’t matter how much to myself I lie.

Every time I think of you,
I wish those times were few.

I tell myself you mean nothing to me,
But for that lie I shall never be free.

You were my everything,
Even though I meant nothing.

Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: Rain against the windows

I'm used to working with other sites, this is my first actual crack at Live Journal so please bear with me until I get the hang of things! ^.^ I will be posting up some poems and such after I get my profile worked out, which will hopefully be soon. If we have the same interests or you like my poems when I post them please comment and let me know: Always love meeting new people!